Mariah Carey: three songs that reflect the singer’s complex relationship with mother and sister

Mariah Carey, the globally renowned singer and songwriter, is known for her deeply personal lyrics that often reflect her tumultuous life experiences. Recently, Carey has faced the profound loss of both her mother, Patricia Carey, and her sister, Alison Carey, who both died on the same day. These tragedies have brought to the forefront the complicated and often strained relationships she had with her family – which Mariah reflected in three of her less well-known songs.

Two tragic losses

Patricia Carey, a former opera singer and vocal coach, passed away after a long illness. She was a significant figure in Mariah Carey’s life, introducing her to the world of music and fostering her early talent. Despite this, their relationship was often rocky. Mariah has spoken about her mother in various interviews, sometimes alluding to emotional neglect and misunderstanding. Patricia’s death marks the end of an era in Mariah’s life, leaving behind a complex legacy.

Alison Carey, Mariah’s older sister, also passed away recently. Alison’s life was marred by a series of unfortunate events, including struggles with substance abuse, health issues, and legal troubles. The relationship between the two sisters was fraught with tension, with Mariah keeping her distance from Alison for many years. Despite their estrangement, Alison’s death has inevitably impacted Mariah, reopening old wounds and sparking a time of reflection and grief.

Carey detailed her complicated relationship with her mother and her sister in her 2020 memoir, The Meaning of Mariah Carey, in which she wrote that she and her mother often clashed, and she accused her sister of putting her in unsafe situations as a child. Mariah has often spoken about how she felt exploited by her sister and other family members, who she claims tried to take advantage of her fame and wealth.

“Our relationship is a prickly rope of pride, pain, shame, gratitude, jealousy, admiration and disappointment” Carey wrote of her mother in the book. “A complicated love tethers my heart to my mother’s”. Of her sister, she wrote that, for a time, it was “emotionally and physically safer for me not to have any contact” with her.

Mariah Carey’s music: a reflection of her family struggles

Throughout her career, Mariah Carey has channeled her personal pain into her music, creating songs that resonate deeply with her audience. Her tumultuous relationships with her mother and sister have been the subject of several of her songs, which offer a glimpse into the emotional complexities of her family life.

“Petals” (1999)

Petals is one of Mariah Carey’s most poignant and autobiographical songs – focusing heavily on her relationship with ex-husband Tommy Mottola. Featured on her album Rainbow, parts of this song is often interpreted as a reflection of the pain and betrayal Mariah felt from her family, particularly her sister Alison. The lyrics speak of a deep sense of loss and disillusionment, as Mariah laments the breakdown of familial bonds that were once strong. She sings, “I’ve often wondered if there’s ever been a perfect family. I’ve always longed for undividedness and sought stability”. Mariah also directly references Alison in it, dedicating the first section to her, using her nickname “Dandelion”.

“Looking In” (1995)

Looking In from the album Daydream, is another deeply introspective song that touches on Mariah Carey’s feelings of isolation and the pressure to maintain a perfect image despite her inner turmoil. While not directly mentioning her mother, the song is believed to reflect the emotional distance and lack of understanding she felt from her family, including her mother. The lyrics, “She smiles through a thousand tears / And harbors adolescent fears / She dreams of all that she can never be / She wades in insecurity,” convey a sense of vulnerability and sadness, hinting at the struggles Mariah faced growing up.

“Close My Eyes” (1997)

From her critically acclaimed album Butterfly, Close My Eyes is a song that reflects Mariah Carey’s journey from a difficult childhood to adulthood. The song’s lyrics, “I was a wayward child with the weight of the world that I held deep inside / Life was a winding road, and I learned many things little ones shouldn’t know,” suggest a difficult upbringing and a loss of innocence. This song is often interpreted as a reflection on her childhood, the complex relationship with her mother, who, despite her influence, could not shield Mariah from the hardships she faced, and the traumatic one with her sister.

The impact of family on Mariah Carey’s life and career

The emotional turmoil stemming from Mariah Carey’s family relationships has had a profound impact on her life and career. In her memoir, Mariah discusses how these relationships have shaped her as a person and as an artist. She has spoken openly about feeling like an outsider in her own family, particularly due to her biracial identity in a predominantly white family. This sense of otherness and the subsequent search for belonging have been recurring themes in her music.

One particularly difficult section in her memoir was on her sister Alison. Mariah wrote:

I always hoped and wished Alison would get better, so we could get better. I understand she was severely emotionally injured and had to take her enduring pain out on someone. She chose me. Through the years, both my sister and brother have put me on the chopping block, sold lies to any gossip rag or trashy website that would buy or listen. They have attacked me for decades. But when I was twelve years old, my sister drugged me with Valium, offered me a pinky nail full of cocaine, inflicted me with third-degree burns, and tried to sell me out to a pimp. Something in me was arrested by all that trauma. That is why I often say, ‘I’m eternally twelve’. I am still struggling through that time.

It may well have been this experience which inspired Close My Eyes.

Moreover, Mariah has also expressed how the exploitation and betrayal she felt from her family members, especially her sister Alison and brother Morgan, contributed to her mental health struggles. These experiences led her to establish boundaries with her family, choosing to focus on her well-being and protect her peace.

In recent years, Mariah Carey has been more vocal about the importance of self-care and mental health, often referencing her own journey. Her decision to distance herself from certain family members, including her sister, reflects her desire to break free from the toxic dynamics that once dominated her life.

Mariah Carey: resilient

While Mariah Carey’s relationship with her family, particularly her mother and sister, has been fraught with challenges, it has undeniably influenced her music and shaped her as an artist. Through songs like Petals, Looking In, and Close My Eyes, Mariah has been able to articulate the pain, betrayal, and longing she experienced, offering her fans a glimpse into the personal struggles behind her public persona. Despite the difficulties, Mariah Carey continues to be a resilient figure in the music industry, using her art to heal and inspire others who may be facing similar challenges.

Featured image via the Canary