#SwindonsSundaySermon: Keir Starmer is LESS popular in the UK than Trump. Let that sink in.

Keir Starmer is less popular with British people than Donald Trump.

Read that back, and then say it out loud.

Now, I know as well as anyone just how detestable Keir Starmer is.

Keir Starmer is that failed MOT that you cannot afford to put right.

Keir Starmer is missing the last bus home by a few seconds.

Keir Starmer is the excruciating dental abscess that keeps you awake at night and leaves you looking a bit like one of the Tweenies.

Okay, maybe I’m being a little bit too kind. But more hated than Trump, in Britain? We really are plunging head first down the most slippery of slopes right now.

What a mess, Keir Starmer – and that’s without Donald Trump

While the British media seems deeply troubled — albeit predictably — by the thought of multi-millionaire land owning farmers having to consider the implications of having to pay a little more tax in the future, I will save my concerns for the farmers in Gaza that have witnessed the systematic destruction of their crops and their land by the Israeli military, because they no longer have the means to feed themselves and the Gazan population.

According to Labour’s own impact assessment, their own cuts to the winter fuel payments are likely to force another 100,000 pensioners in England and Wales into relative poverty. You honestly want me to care about multimillionaires while this shit is happening, under a Labour government?

This is an absolute masterclass in how not to make policy, and the sooner this ridiculous government admit to making one almighty great fuck up, the better for everyone.

Farmers what?

Millions of British children are growing up in poverty. Disabled people are no better off under Labour and are facing more cuts. Our NHS is in a permanent state of crisis with privatisation being seen as the go to solution for Labour. Homelessness and rough sleeping are a national disgrace, as great as any other. We continue to fuel conflict and violence across the globe. Energy prices are set to rise again in January.

And you want us to join a vigil for a group of farmers that fail to understand that lots of people in Britain work bloody hard their entire lives to still have no more than a few trinkets for a memory box to pass down to their children, if we’re lucky?

Fuck off, Clarkson. If you are standing on the opposite side of the argument to that narcissistic Tory pig, you must be doing something right.

Unlike the dangerously stupid Keir Starmer, who is hopeful of dragging Britain into an unwinnable conflict with Putin’s Russia – simply to create a mushroom-cloud-sized smokescreen for his multiple crises on the domestic front.

Vote Labour – bomb and genocide everywhere?

I don’t seem to remember “vote Labour, bomb Russia” appearing at any point in the most recent Labour Party manifesto.

When you find yourselves less popular than a pair of septic, racist hate preachers in the shape and musty, pissy mattress stench of Donald Trump and Nigel Farage, surely you would start asking some difficult questions of yourself, prime minister?

Speaking of racists, I was pleased to see the International Criminal Court finally get round to issuing arrest warrants for Netanyahu and Gallant, some six months after they were requested by ICC prosecutor, Karim Khan.

Did the ICC feel sorry for Joe Biden? Maybe they have also realised the guy is quite simply non compos mentis, and just maybe they didn’t see the point of following up his complicity with a warrant?

The fugitive, Netanyahu is already on record as describing the ICC as “disgraceful”, and the old favourite, “antisemitic”, a word that has been completely devalued, misused and exaggerated by bad faith actors whenever they feel the need to shut down perfectly legitimate criticism of the Israeli terrorist state.

Under international law, any state that has signed up to the ICC’s Rome Statute is obliged to detain the wanted war criminal Netanyahu ‘on sight’, and that includes the UK.

Hand-wringing

When questioned on how Britain would respond to the arrest warrant, the Home Secretary, Yvette Cooper (another hater of disabled people) claimed it wasn’t a matter for her.

Sorry to disappoint you, Yvette, but you’re in charge of the police, so cut this no comment bullshit and ensure Britain fully complies with international law. If we really wanted a government of corrupt, freeloading, Israel first stooges that hold no regard for international law we would’ve kept the last lot in place.

Britain’s full throttled support for Israel — for which it will be judged by history not dissimilar to how those that supported the Nazis are judged — now has to come to a sudden and immediate halt.

While the US will deny the charge of genocide until they are red, white, and blue in the face, we can and must be better. If the US wants to be an ally of a war criminal state, let them. We don’t have to nod along with every Washington diktat, even if you have been taught to believe it is compulsory.

If Keir Starmer believes he can save his own bacon in Britain by kicking off with a well-armed superpower like Russia, he is more foolish than I ever thought possible. Has he considered what an incoming Trump presidency is likely to mean for Russia, Ukraine, and little, worryingly isolated Britain?

There’s no appetite for war, Keir Starmer

There is no appetite for war in Britain. Even to this day, the horrors of the invasion of Iraq still leave an indelible stain on the British national conscience.

The Labour Party should know this better than anyone else.

I’m sure the right-wing media will get fully behind the son-of-a-toolmaker Starmer’s posturing, they love a bit of fighting talk. But the sycophantic hacks and their editors will be at back of the queue when it comes to volunteering to book their journeys home to Britain, loaded on to the rear end of an RAF plane in a fucking flag-draped wooden box.

Keir Starmer is painfully out of his depth, both domestically and on the global stage. Why did anyone think his experience of locking away a few shoplifters made him suitable to run a country?

I used to answer phone calls for Vodafone, many, many years ago, back in the days of the Nokia 3310. Based on Starmer’s career progression, perhaps I should put myself forward to be a nuclear physicist, or better still, the next poet laureate?

*Clears throat*