The Donald Trump guide to surviving coronavirus

US president Donald Trump and his wife Melania have tested positive for coronavirus (Covid-19.) So we at The Canary decided to combine all his best insights into the deadly virus.

Tonight, @FLOTUS and I tested positive for COVID-19. We will begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately. We will get through this TOGETHER!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 2, 2020

Lesson one, Don. It isn’t just flu:

So last year 37,000 Americans died from the common Flu. It averages between 27,000 and 70,000 per year. Nothing is shut down, life & the economy go on. At this moment there are 546 confirmed cases of CoronaVirus, with 22 deaths. Think about that!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 9, 2020

Lesson two: despite what you may have heard, coronavirus isn’t fake news:

I always treated the Chinese Virus very seriously, and have done a very good job from the beginning, including my very early decision to close the “borders” from China – against the wishes of almost all. Many lives were saved. The Fake News new narrative is disgraceful & false!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 18, 2020

Lesson three. Don’t be too quick to accuse rivals of crying wolf:

Cryin’ Chuck Schumer is complaining, for publicity purposes only, that I should be asking for more money than $2.5 Billion to prepare for Coronavirus. If I asked for more he would say it is too much. He didn’t like my early travel closings. I was right. He is incompetent!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 25, 2020

Lesson four: while you are in isolation at least contemplate the idea that criticism of your behaviour wasn’t a “far left” conspiracy theory:’

“Anti-Trump Network @CNN doing whatever it can to stoke a national Coronavirus panic. The far left Network pretty much ignoring anyone who they interview who doesn’t blame President Trump.” @trish_regan @FoxNews Media refuses to discuss the great job our professionals are doing!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 28, 2020

Finally, while you might get a kick out of being racist and telling your followers coronavirus is a “Chinese Virus”, believe us when we say this, the virus doesn’t respect borders:

CHINESE VIRUS FACT CHECK pic.twitter.com/qJugCylvE2

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 22, 2020

Get well soon… honest

Meanwhile, Twitter was full of concern for the US President:

Trump: “The coronavirus. This is their new hoax.”

Coronavirus: pic.twitter.com/5SFAuBhlkl

— Joel D. Anderson 🆓 (@byjoelanderson) October 2, 2020

US comedian Mark Humphries sent his best wishes:

Wishing the President a speedy recovfefe

— Mark Humphries (@markhumphries) October 2, 2020

While another concerned ‘fan’ pointed out that Fox News viewers were going to struggle with the news. Thoughts with all of them today:

https://twitter.com/AmyRemeikis/status/1311899964260245504

We wish Donald and Melania a speedy recovery from their illness. Honest. What? We do.

Image via Wikimedia