The Greens are “even more dangerous than Starmer’s Labour”? It’s not a high bar

In a shock move, the Daily Express – the UK’s 16th most popular source of scrap paper – appears to be running the Greens’ ad campaign for them. What an act of charity!

Without even a trace of irony or self-awareness detected, the Express recently ran the headline:

The party even more dangerous than Starmer’s Labour – and getting more extreme

Founded on sound environmental principles, it’s no longer just about trees and animals but overthrowing our tolerant society.

Putin’s Communists?!

Worse still, the online header reads:

The party even more dangerous than Starmer’s Labour – UK’s answer to Putin’s Communists

As a quick aside: if the fact that ‘Daily Express’ is written across the top of the page wasn’t enough of a clue for you, the Putin stuff should be enough to tip you off that what you’re about to read shouldn’t be taken as anything resembling serious political discourse.

Sure, sure, Putin was a member of the KGB. Then – let me check – of yeah, communism in Russia fell with the end of the Soviet Union in 1991. Putin has been the de facto leader of Russia since 1999, maybe 2000.

So, straight away, I’m going to assume that the columnist Tim Newark has been in some kind of coma for the last 30-odd years. It’s rather cruel that the Express immediately put him to work criticising the Green Party, rather than letting the poor sod catch up on world news for a couple days.

Anyway, on to the main event: More dangerous than Labour? Sign me up.

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Obviously, Polanski was jubilant at the headline. He posted:

I’m never actually going to need to write another comment piece again am I?

The right wing shit rags are just going to keep recruiting for us.

But wait – you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, I hear you cry. By the same token, maybe some slapdash editor slapped a ridiculous headline on an otherwise insightful work of policy analysis in search of cheap outrage clicks. Have I fallen for the Machiavellian machinations of a right-wing shit rag?

Unfortunately not. Tim Newark, alleged political commentator, wrote for the Daily Express:

The Green Party at its annual conference at the weekend voted to abolish private landlords. Yes, you read that correctly. Even a former deputy leader said it sounded like something from the Communist Manifesto. But it’s no surprise really – the Greens have long been opposed to capitalism.

I know it’ll be a foreign concept to the likes of Newark, but the Greens being opposed to the worst extents of capitalism is called a ‘coherent political ideology’. Capitalism is fuelling the climate crisis with its unending pursuit of profit at all costs.

Individual carbon responsibility means fuck all if businesses are allowed to ruin our environment with impunity. The fact that the Greens are standing in opposition to that is a demonstration that they’ve actually thought this shit through to its logical conclusion.

Likewise, the greed of private landlords is a key driver of homelessness in the UK. The country is currently facing a crisis in which 1 in every 200 households is living in emergency accommodation. Abolishing private landlords would be a fantastic step towards solving that.

Scratch an Express columnist, get an Islamophobe

Also, as a point of order, the Communist Manifesto does mention landlords a few times. Well done Tim!

However, it was Mao who embarked on a project of actually killing landlords. I’m genuinely amazed that Newark didn’t bother to mention that little titbit, given the absolute stream of racist bile he prints later in the article:

Current deputy leader, Mothin Ali, espouses a pro-Palestinian, anti-Israel doctrine that cares more about Gaza than his local ward. How that helps the UK environment anyone can guess.

That one’s easy, buddy. The carbon footprint of Israel’s genocide of the people of Gaza is bigger than some entire countries. Next ridiculous statement.

He goes on to write some guff about the Green alliance of the guilt-ridden middle classes, Muslims and trans activists. Apparently, history shows that the Muslims will murder us all as soon as they get into power, just like they did in Iran in 1979. Not the sharpest analysis, but it’s at least narrowing the window on when Newark must have slipped into his coma.

He goes on:

At the party conference, senior Green Faaiz Hasan said Muslims had the opportunity to “politically” eliminate and “decapitate” some of the “nastiest politicians we have”.

Incredibly cheap and disgusting shot, even for the Express. Whilst addressing a meeting of the Muslim Greens, Hasan actually said:

We have Tottenham, which is another seat with more than 20 per cent of population, where we could be rid of David Lammy. We could have Wes Streeting in Ilford North who would be eliminated. So, this is an opportunity that we as Muslims have to actually decapitate some of the nastiest politicians we have in the country, politically.

Clearly figurative language, but that doesn’t matter when you’re just trying to sound an Islamophobic dogwhistle, does it?

Newark leaves off by stating that Polanski “is fanning revolutionary flames and his followers are lapping it up”. That’s one thing at least we can agree on – we’re loving Polanski’s politics over here at the Canary. Apparently though, he also “wants to redistribute our money and turn Britain into a left-wing haven”.

One thing at a time mate, one thing at a time.

*Alex/Rose Cocker wishes Tim Newark a speedy recovery, and asks that the Express doesn’t work him quite so hard. It’s clearly too much.

Featured image via Unsplash/CreateTravel.tv